Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
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I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
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You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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