I didn't shave. On purpose
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
