So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize