exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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