if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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