You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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