if i can run in heels then i can drive
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize