peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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