im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
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Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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