I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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