we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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