you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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