I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
