i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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