Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
