my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Barsexuality is the new black.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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