I heard we made out
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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