Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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