i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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