Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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