I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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