Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
