U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
