Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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