when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
