mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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