i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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