I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
