Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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