Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
