But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
