i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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