drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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