DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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