I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
