How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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