i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
