Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
