I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
