Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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