Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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