officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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