so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize