dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
