You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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