My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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