The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
