Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
