Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize