what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
