he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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