covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
