Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
