i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Of course I have a pirate flag
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
