Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
