Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
