I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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