I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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