I wish I could teleport
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
