we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
