All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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