Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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