Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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